Introduction:

You are the common denominator in all areas of your life. Everything begins and ends with you being your best self. If you are willing to do the work and admit that there is work to do, you can become whoever you want to be.

Our genes and upbringing shape who we are. Often, people stop learning and questioning themselves at a certain point and simply coast through life. That is not your Best Self.

Create Your Best and Anti-Selves

Regardless of where you are right now, you can improve your life in powerful ways. Get a journal and do the following exercises:

• Write Your Traits: List all the best traits or characteristics that feel authentic to you. These should be positive attributes.
• Create Your Best Self: Refer back to the list of traits and create your Best Self. Is your Best Self a particular gender? An animal? A mystical creature? Write a full description of your Best Self.
• Express Gratitude: Think of ten things you are grateful for and write them down. Nothing is too insignificant.

In addition to our Best Self, we all have an Anti-Self. These are the sides of us that get triggered by negative things. Identifying your Anti-Self characters can help you reduce the amount of time you spend in your Anti-Self.

• Identify Your Anti-Self Traits: Write down the traits you consider your character flaws. Think about the last time you acted negatively and write about what happened.
• Create Your Anti-Self: Look at your list of traits and create an exaggerated version of that self. Understanding your Anti-Self makes it easier to control.

Five Tenets for Change

To prepare yourself mentally for the process of change, approach everything with:

• Curiosity – Ask questions and explore new ideas.
• Honesty – Be truthful about your challenges and desires.
• Openness – Stay open to feedback and change.
• Willingness – Be prepared to take action.
• Focus – Keep your attention on your goals.

Think about the last time you felt truly alive. Identify what charges your authentic battery. Examine whether your current life aligns with your authentic self. If not, you can change it.

On any journey, roadblocks will arise. Identify fears that have held you back and ask yourself:

• Is it factually true?
• Does it generate progress toward healthy goals?

Use this process to rationalise fear and create a plan to prevent negative outcomes.

Rituals can help you overcome fear and build confidence. Consider:

• Practising positive affirmations.
• Writing down what you are grateful for.

SPHERES Framework

SPHERES is an acronym representing different areas of life. Identifying strengths and weaknesses in each sphere helps in personal development.

Social Life

• Social interaction induces happiness, combats depression, and increases brainpower.
• Engage positively by:
• - Preparing conversation topics.
• - Staying present and focusing on others.
• - Asking questions and actively listening.
• - Maintaining open body language and eye contact.
• - Giving genuine compliments.
• Identify what contributes to a positive social life and what holds you back.

Personal Life

• Your relationship with yourself affects all areas of life.
• Maintain positive self-talk and self-respect.
• Recognise negative thoughts and reframe them into positive ones.
• Practise self-care:
• - Deep breathing exercises.
• - Regular physical activity.
• - Healthy sleep schedules.
• - Time away from technology.

Health

• Your Best Self prioritises physical health.
• Conduct a self-check on lifestyle habits.
• Eat whole foods, exercise regularly, and maintain gut health.

Education

• Learning should be lifelong.
• Identify topics that excite you and pursue them through courses, books, or podcasts.
• Self-awareness is key—check in with yourself regularly.

Relationships

• Define your core values to build meaningful relationships.
• Establish secure attachment patterns through healthy communication and boundary setting.
• Being single is not a flaw; prioritise being your Best Self in all relationships.

Employment

• Work should align with your authentic self.
• Reflect on whether your job utilises your strengths and fulfils you.
• If dissatisfied, determine whether the issue is you or the job itself.
• Make tweaks or consider a career change if needed.

Spiritual Life

• Spirituality shapes values and integrity.
• Reconnect with your spirituality through:
• - Setting spiritual intentions.
• - Seeking inspiring content.
• - Practising gratitude.
• - Observing signs from the universe.
• - Helping others and paying positivity forward.

Using SPHERES to Get What You Want

Now that you have examined each SPHERE, identify which areas need improvement.

• Define clear goals – Be specific about the events or behaviours you wish to achieve.
• Make goals measurable – Track progress over time.
• Choose goals within your control – Focus on actions you can influence.
• Plan a strategy – Outline steps to achieve your goals.
• Set a timeline – Establish deadlines.
• Create accountability – Find a support system or method to keep yourself on track.

Goal achievement should be a continuous process. Keep evolving and striving to be your Best Self every day.